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[personal profile] zeppomarks
me: "The doctor seemed impressed with your recovery so far."
"Well the explanation is - I AM amazing!"



"That Doctor Tran is a great guy; he treats me like I am a mighty tin god!"

(After learning he is no longer allowed to drive a car)
"How am I going to get a woman to have sex with me if I can no longer drive my car?!"
me: "I think you should be more worried about getting a woman to have sex with you while you are wearing that hat."

nurse: "We need to check your temperature - that is good."
dad: (does a weird little dance)
nurse: “Okay we need to check your oxygen levels - very good."
dad: (does a weird little dance)
nurse: "Okay now step onto the scale - great."
dad: (just stands there)
nurse: "Don't I get a little dance?"
dad: "Sorry lady only the first two are free."

me: "You don't HAVE to live with me if you don't want to, you could always live in Florida."
"Florida?! I would rather live in a filthy barn and drink swill."

"Can you give me a few minutes so I can sin?"

social worker at rehab: "I heard you were in the military sir."
"Yes Madam, I served in Korea. There we were, three against a thousand... toughest three we ever fought."

(I am cutting the old man's toenails)
"I remember when you graduated from high school but then you were suddenly gone from the house. I don’t remember where you went."
(Long pause)
me: "You threw me out of the house Dad, I lived on the street for a few months."
"Are you sure it was me? I don't remember doing that."
me: "I am pretty sure."
"Well that is just terrible..."
me: "No sense in worrying about it now Pop, it was a very long time ago."
"I did that to you and now you are here taking care of me."
me: "Yeah."
"Wow, King Lear is a good play."

"We have to call the narcissist doctor."
me: "What in the hell are you talking about?"
"The narcissist doctor, the narcissist doctor! The guy who checks my brain for damage!"
me: "Do you mean the neurologist?"
"Yes."
me: "Okay those are two entirely different doctors; we can call the neurologist when we get home, but I am afraid your narcissism is terminal."

Date: 2009-05-22 04:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lolliejean.livejournal.com
As usual, The Commodore cracks me up. Reading your stories about him reminds me of a couple of my favorite movies about fathers.
When Did You Last See Your Father? and Big Fish

Date: 2009-05-22 04:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrshellion.livejournal.com
Oh, Big Fish! *sob* What an awesome movie.

Date: 2009-05-22 06:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
I haven't seen the first one, but Big Fish - yes that one hit me where I live. :)

Big Fish

From: [identity profile] markmc03.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-05-23 04:50 am (UTC) - Expand

Re: Big Fish

From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-05-23 10:41 pm (UTC) - Expand

Re: Big Fish

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Re: Big Fish

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Date: 2009-05-22 04:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrshellion.livejournal.com
"Wow, King Lear is a good play."

Brilliant insight in the onset of dementia. My grandmother was equally amusing for a long time.

Date: 2009-05-22 06:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
The thing is, this isn't dementia. He has been like this since I was a kid.

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Date: 2009-05-22 04:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ayun.livejournal.com
Your entire exchange ending with King Lear is awfully moving. Makes me want to get on a plane to go hug an elderly relative.

Date: 2009-05-22 06:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Hahaa - yes well that whole exchange is about as much sentimentality as my family allows. Had I lingered on the topic any longer I would have lost all my privileges... whatever those are. :)
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Date: 2009-05-22 06:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Well it looks like he is coming to Atlanta for an extended tour. I am trying to find him a house now, so you may get your wish.
Maybe I will force him to go to DragonCon with me.
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From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-05-22 07:46 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-05-22 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jourdannex.livejournal.com
Oh god I love him. Now I know what we will be like when we are 80. I look forward to it, if I remember any of it, I am 41 and having trouble even now.


(and regarding note I just sent you) Why was I thinking the end of May, WHY?

I think we should fly to Miss Lolliejean's area and take her to dinner. I think we should start a tradition of showing up in beloved LJ areas and breaking out SURPRISE DINNERS on them.

Date: 2009-05-22 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
I just replied with part of the whole sordid mess.
It felt like a mini Burroughs novel just typing it out.

Your suggestion is a brilliant and welcome one. We could be "Supper Ninjas" or "The Dinner Liberation Army"
Clearly matching T-shirts would be in order.

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From: [identity profile] lolliejean.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-05-23 12:55 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-05-23 10:41 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-05-22 06:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Okay that is hilarious. First of all just funny in own right but also Dad's Dr. Tran looks like he just spilled out of Junior High. Perhaps I will seek out a hard copy of that cartoon and anonymously send it to his clinic.

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From: [identity profile] solfox.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-05-23 08:39 am (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2009-05-22 05:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] missrachael.livejournal.com
I hope this is not totally out of line, but I felt inspired.

The Commodore: become a fan! (http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Commodore/85733472417)

Date: 2009-05-22 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Perfect - thank you!

Date: 2009-05-22 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heathrow.livejournal.com
Oh, darlin'.

Date: 2009-05-23 10:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
the world is an amazing place isn't it? :)

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Date: 2009-05-22 07:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mystwolf.livejournal.com
Ahh.. your father is brilliant. Good luck on the house hunt for him.

Date: 2009-05-23 11:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Thanks - I have seen five houses in two days, have four more to go. :)

Date: 2009-05-22 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] broin.livejournal.com
That was terrific. Thank you, again, always.

Date: 2009-05-23 11:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
:) for you - anything.

Date: 2009-05-22 09:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wonderbink.livejournal.com
"Wow, King Lear is a good play."

That made me laugh and broke my heart at the same time.

Date: 2009-05-23 11:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
oddly enough it did the exact same thing to me. :)

Date: 2009-05-24 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Thank you, but I just report these incidents as they occur. :)

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Date: 2009-05-22 10:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herroyalflyness.livejournal.com
You made me LOL.

Date: 2009-05-23 11:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
well go change your pants and come right back!

I don't even know what that meant... I am very tired. :)

Date: 2009-05-23 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] k-navit.livejournal.com
""Wow, King Lear is a good play."

OMFG.

That's ... brilliant. Sad. And resentment-inducing if dwelt upon for too long. But brilliant.

I once confronted my father with a particularly craptastic choice he once made about twenty years ago that involved my face, and he said, "I don't think I did that. I don't remember doing that. Why would I do that?"

In struggling to deal with his response, I learned a lot - about him, and me, and parenting, and being a small part of a big family. I can't necessarily articulate it yet, but I learned a lot. I hope one day to attain the levels of Sense of Humor and Perspective that you seem to have attained in the place/space you came up in.

Date: 2009-05-24 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
It was such a remarkable moment and I know what you mean about having information start to seep in after the moment had passed.
My childhood was so messy - it seems as if I will be forever sorting.

and thanks, most days I think I am an unholy mess but thank you.

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From: [identity profile] jason0x21.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-05-24 03:48 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-05-23 12:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] acogswell.livejournal.com
I've been reading your LJ for a very long time, and I've laughed with you and cried with you.

I am continually amazed by your grace. And well....your father needs to have a whole novel or two written about him. And of course you should write it. :)

Date: 2009-05-24 12:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
The man needs a TV mini-series. He is at LEAST as interesting as Ozzy Ozborne and slightly more lucid.
Thanks for being a loyal reader, I honestly truly appreciate it.

Date: 2009-05-23 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jimmyether.livejournal.com
You two really should have a stage act.

I'm not joking.

Date: 2009-05-24 12:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
If only that had occurred to me when I was doing stand up. :)

God, I love him.

Date: 2009-05-24 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jemisoutrageous.livejournal.com
You guys should go on the road together, a father & daughter Gracie Allen and George Burns. Is it wrong that I want to be your stepmother?

Date: 2009-06-04 04:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magicwoman.livejournal.com
Wishing you a very happy birthday!

Susan

OT

Date: 2009-06-04 04:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magicwoman.livejournal.com
Which layout are you using - I like the clean style!
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