zeppomarks: (Default)
[personal profile] zeppomarks
me: "The doctor seemed impressed with your recovery so far."
"Well the explanation is - I AM amazing!"

"That Doctor Tran is a great guy; he treats me like I am a mighty tin god!"

(After learning he is no longer allowed to drive a car)
"How am I going to get a woman to have sex with me if I can no longer drive my car?!"
me: "I think you should be more worried about getting a woman to have sex with you while you are wearing that hat."

nurse: "We need to check your temperature - that is good."
dad: (does a weird little dance)
nurse: “Okay we need to check your oxygen levels - very good."
dad: (does a weird little dance)
nurse: "Okay now step onto the scale - great."
dad: (just stands there)
nurse: "Don't I get a little dance?"
dad: "Sorry lady only the first two are free."

me: "You don't HAVE to live with me if you don't want to, you could always live in Florida."
"Florida?! I would rather live in a filthy barn and drink swill."

"Can you give me a few minutes so I can sin?"

social worker at rehab: "I heard you were in the military sir."
"Yes Madam, I served in Korea. There we were, three against a thousand... toughest three we ever fought."

(I am cutting the old man's toenails)
"I remember when you graduated from high school but then you were suddenly gone from the house. I don’t remember where you went."
(Long pause)
me: "You threw me out of the house Dad, I lived on the street for a few months."
"Are you sure it was me? I don't remember doing that."
me: "I am pretty sure."
"Well that is just terrible..."
me: "No sense in worrying about it now Pop, it was a very long time ago."
"I did that to you and now you are here taking care of me."
me: "Yeah."
"Wow, King Lear is a good play."

"We have to call the narcissist doctor."
me: "What in the hell are you talking about?"
"The narcissist doctor, the narcissist doctor! The guy who checks my brain for damage!"
me: "Do you mean the neurologist?"
me: "Okay those are two entirely different doctors; we can call the neurologist when we get home, but I am afraid your narcissism is terminal."

Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.


zeppomarks: (Default)

February 2011

6 7 8 910 1112
20212223 242526

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 24th, 2017 03:51 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios