zeppomarks: (Default)
[personal profile] zeppomarks
See the deal is - I am broken.
Unlike most healthy people I am completely unable to express love or affection in any kind of normal way lest I turn to a pillar of salt.
So I make things for people, overly elaborate and strange things. I think it is about forty percent upbringing and sixty percent people who have taken that information from me when I have uttered it and misused it in a really spectacular and scarring way.
So I spend most of time consumed in projects that I will never keep and sometimes will never see again and the weird part is, I HAVE to love it. If I don't love what I am making then I can't give it away, which means my house is littered with half finished projects that I despise. This of course leads me to believe that I have zero talent, the jury is still out on that.
I swear it is like a fucking Greek tragedy over here.

I just wanted to say it out loud to anyone who isn't clear about that, or anyone who ever got something from me and wondered what the hell it was or why they ended up with it.
If you haven't gotten anything from me thus far and are now wondering if I hate you, don't. It just means I haven't gotten to you yet. It is also possible I started something and decided it wasn't good enough. That happens a LOT.

Anyway I just finished something, it took forty three hours total and I screamed and clawed my face and gave up on it at least three times, but in the end I gave it away because that is the only way it can work for me.

I started with a German Christmas Pyramid. In case you aren't Euro trash like me and are unfamiliar they are wooden, rotate, and generally have the nativity happening somewhere in there. They look like this: Christmas Pyramid
I have loved them since I was a little girl and my mother was loathe to let me destroy ours. I finally found a reasonably priced source in October and bought two. I took the thing apart and popped all the little wooden figures off one by one. Baby Jesus was being stubborn and so I had to chip away at him with a screwdriver until he released his kung fu grip, came flying off like a bullet and lodged into my cactus.
There is something sort of satisfying about taking an innocent and simple Christmas decoration and turning it into something disturbing and wrong.


Happy Holidays everybody!

Date: 2009-12-03 04:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] virtualmel.livejournal.com

Date: 2009-12-03 05:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2009-12-03 04:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baeyear.livejournal.com
That is completely and utterly awesome.

Date: 2009-12-03 05:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Thank you maam!

Date: 2009-12-03 04:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] solfox.livejournal.com
That's amazing

Date: 2009-12-03 05:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Thank you very much.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2009-12-03 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Maybe you do too. :)
(deleted comment)

Date: 2009-12-04 12:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jourdannex.livejournal.com
All my favourite people.

Date: 2009-12-03 05:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aelf.livejournal.com
That's incredible!

Date: 2009-12-03 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

Date: 2009-12-03 05:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] missrachael.livejournal.com
I know we don't know each other super well, but when I see some of the things that you make, I literally weep with joy over the fact that you exist.

Date: 2009-12-03 05:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
That was a damn nice thing to say and by the way, you are one of the people who has a failed project sitting around my house. You will get something one day I promise, it just has to be right.

Date: 2009-12-04 12:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jourdannex.livejournal.com
God, I feel this way too.

Date: 2009-12-03 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] themysteriousg.livejournal.com
That's just neat.

Date: 2009-12-07 09:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Thank you! :)
(deleted comment)

Date: 2009-12-07 09:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
hahhaa - well thank you.

Date: 2009-12-03 05:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flummox.livejournal.com
If I could express an original thought in this humble little text box to express how awesome your creation is, I would. Instead I'll just join the crowd forming above and below this comment in total awe at your magnificence.

Nice work!

Date: 2009-12-07 09:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Thank you, god stuck his finger right into the middle of my brain and this came out.

Date: 2009-12-03 05:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magicwoman.livejournal.com
Oh, I LOVE it!!

Date: 2009-12-07 09:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Thank you very much!

Date: 2009-12-03 06:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daddygod.livejournal.com
That is all kinds of good in the world.

If that was in a gallery somewhere, I'd definitely buy it.

Great job.

Date: 2009-12-07 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
You are very nice to say that. Thanks

Date: 2009-12-03 06:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] capricornia.livejournal.com
omg, i've never seen a german xmas pyramid! i am in love!

Date: 2009-12-07 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
aren't they cool?! I have been really obsessed since I was a kid, the candle heat makes the blades spin and so when the candles are new, it spins so fast it is like it will take off. Then when the candles are just down to little nubs it barely turns.
I just love them.

Date: 2009-12-03 07:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suibhne.livejournal.com
That is fabulous. I have no other words. Just fabulous!

Date: 2009-12-07 09:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Thank you maam. I was thinking of you yesterday. Thinking about WAAAAY back in day when you used to show up with Jeff to that apartment in Marietta where Mick and V used to live.
V and I used to refer to you as "kid" which is now hilarious to me since I was barely 22 myself.

Date: 2009-12-03 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottopic.livejournal.com
mmmm salt.

Date: 2009-12-03 08:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lolliejean.livejournal.com
I love your weird and wonderful creations!

In regard to your talent - I'm so glad you wrote this because today I had Ellie's daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter at the house. We were sitting in the living room which is filled with our eclectic collection of art and the first thing Jonas noticed was the laughing Buddha you made for me which lives on the mantle. He loved it. See? Talent! And he doesn't even know you so it was a totally unbiased opinion. xo

Date: 2009-12-03 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rootie-kazootie.livejournal.com
It has me simultaneously thinking about how wonderful Alice in Wonderland is going to be, and Dia de los Muertos.
Only you and Tim can send me to that nexus.

Date: 2009-12-03 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wonderbink.livejournal.com
Baby Jesus was being stubborn and so I had to chip away at him with a screwdriver until he released his kung fu grip, came flying off like a bullet and lodged into my cactus.

There is something sort of satisfying about taking an innocent and simple Christmas decoration and turning it into something disturbing and wrong.

May I please tote these lines to [livejournal.com profile] metaquotes? More people need to witness this awesomeness.

Date: 2009-12-04 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jourdannex.livejournal.com
When I was little, I would get ideas in my head..for instance, I would be filled with this need to make this doll that I could clearly see in my head and visualize but I did not have the tools or comprehension to create such a ...perfect doll friend that she would be, and I would think...I could make this..out of a pillowcase. It would inevitably leave me in tears with all these tools and scissors around me with a cut up pillowcase and me just bawling thinking I was so stupid to think I could do this. I would be all hot with shame and embarrassment and I never would tell anyone about it. Another time I was about 8 and I wanted to, thought I could, make a Beloved Belindy Raggedy Ann and Andy doll, out of ...

a brown paper bag.

I was sure I could make her, she would come to life and take care of me.

When I failed to create her, I wept like some kid who lost their best friend. I knew I could never explain to anyone how much making her meant to me...how much I thought I could...and when I couldn't, I never wanted to talk about it again or even ever see her anywhere.

I had forgotten about that a few months ago until I googled her after dreaming of it.

I so understand this feeling on so many levels. Even now, I thought a few months ago, I am going to make sea glass jewelry. Rings, necklaces etc. I stockpiled that stuff, bought pounds of it and sterling silver wire and tools etc.

Never . Made. A. Single. Piece. I. Was. Happy. With. I need to suck it up and take a jewelry class or two or two hundred.

But THIS thing you have created! I am in awe. IN AWE. The detail of the people inside...amazing. God I love you.

Date: 2009-12-04 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herroyalflyness.livejournal.com
I am happy I know you.

Date: 2009-12-04 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] manintheboat.livejournal.com
I love this so very much.

Date: 2009-12-04 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] verbminx.livejournal.com
I... I...


I want one of these. I wouldn't know what to do with it once I had it, but dang, woman.


Date: 2009-12-05 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ipe.livejournal.com
This is the best christmas card I have ever received. Or will ever.

Date: 2009-12-07 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] betterbombshell.livejournal.com
I adore you.

Date: 2009-12-08 02:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twizmo.livejournal.com
I'm quite fond of outside-the-box creativity and personalization. And alternative ways of letting people know you care. Never doubt your mad skillz of expression. :)

Date: 2009-12-20 12:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mochachoca.livejournal.com
what do i have to do to get this from you?

i'm totally serious

Date: 2010-01-06 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] broin.livejournal.com
Happy New Year. Was thinking of you. =)


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