Payback

May. 18th, 2010 10:32 am
zeppomarks: (Default)
[personal profile] zeppomarks
My initial impulse is to soften the ground on this story by repeating that I may be on the Autism scale personality-wise but I need to stop saying that when it comes to stories in which I am really just being an asshole.
This is one of those.
When I was younger I was just a tool, I had no empathy, no sense of other's perceptions or any idea that what was coming out of my mouth most of the time was rude superior bullshit. I am to this very day surprised I only managed to get punched in the face once before the age of 21.


My best friend in high school and I would frequent art shows and craft festivals and gallery openings as frequently as we could.
Once at an art festival I was walking around proudly proclaiming "I could do this myself!" A bunch of vendors heard me and it wasn't until Paige told me to shut my f'n mouth that I realized they thought I meant I could do exactly what they were doing as if there was no effort involved, when what I meant was that I could make inventory and set up a tent and be in a festival like a grownup with an art career. Still rude of course but with the emphasis on me because I was a narcissistic douche. This realization came too late and I had already pissed off a good dozen or more vendors to the point we couldn't go back and make any purchases without icy stares or them jacking up the prices on us so we just left and went to Zesto's.
I was entirely wracked with guilt over it once I realized that they thought I was diminishing them in some way. Out of guilt and fear of some karmic retribution, I decided I would never ever be in an art/craft festival lest the wrath of the general public would be set upon me.
Fast forward to present day and I am partnered up with Lori, a damn talented person who has been doing festivals for years. It is second nature to her and since our fledgling company needed the exposure and sales, I would need to get over it and start being the face for my company.
Since we have started the festival season this year I have made a conscious effort to not take personally the slights, complaints or generic bitching from the folks who come into the tent. I need to take criticism with gentle good humor in exchange for what I dished out so many years ago.
So far the payback has been less than I anticipated and mostly involved people screwing up their noses at my work as if a horrid smell had offended them and loudly proclaiming my lack of talent, skill, and/or taste. There was also the woman who got chapped at me because I wouldn't discount a dollar item for her.
So far I found all of this hilarious.

Saturday, I was manning the booth at the Kirkwood art festival. My customer service skills were off as I had stepped in a hole behind the Sangria tent and twisted my ankle so I was in a chair with ice on my leg when this occurred. A woman walks briskly by the tent stops directly in front of the zombie plates and keeps walking. I then see her walk briskly by several more times back and forth. Suddenly she is standing in front of the tent staring at me.
"Are you responsible for this?!"
I call out from the back of the tent, "If you mean the zombie forest animal plates, yes I am!"
She is not smiling, "This stuff... your art, I know you think this is funny." There is an extended pause.
"I know you probably intended to do this, but this is just sick...sickening."
While I am trying to formulate a response she continues this time more agitated, "I looked at this raccoon and, and I nearly threw up... I nearly threw up TWICE!" She held up two fingers in indignation.
After a long moment of both of us staring at each other in silence I responded as naturally as I could, I threw both arms up into the air and yelled "YAY!"

Date: 2010-05-18 02:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] travellight.livejournal.com
I can think of no better response.

Date: 2010-05-18 02:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kellinator.livejournal.com
I second this, and would like to add my personal reaction, which was: LOLLERCOASTERS.

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Date: 2010-05-18 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scottopic.livejournal.com
Seriously. A subtitle for this should be "Victory Condition."

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Date: 2010-05-18 02:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuddlycthulhu.livejournal.com
*laughs* I love when people try to express their moral outrage as if other people care. I mean, what did she expect, you to hobble forward like an ever-pleasing Igore, wringing your hands together while you remove the offending plates from the view of the public or, better yet, smash them to bits in her very presence whilst screaming, "YOU ARE SO RIGHT! HOW DARE I MAKE MY ART! INSTEAD, LET ME MAKE YOUR NON-VOMITING ART!"?

Welcome back, been missing your stories.

Oh, and in unfortunate news, my wife's Kali took a tumble and her tongue broke. She's going to try to fix it herself and she was pretty bummed (Kali has moved with her to two different jobs and has been proclaimed "Cool" and "Awesome" at both).

Date: 2010-05-18 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealocelot.livejournal.com
I read that as "my wife Kali took a tumble and her tongue broke", and spent a minute trying to figure out how the heck she managed that. Is breaking your tongue shorthand for damage to a tongue ring? Does she have some weird genetic anomaly where she actually has a bone in her tongue? In either case, how in the world did a fall manage to have anything to do with her tongue?

Then I noticed the "'s".

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Date: 2010-05-18 03:18 pm (UTC)
ext_35267: (Princess)
From: [identity profile] wlotus.livejournal.com
If she hadn't gone back to look more closely more than once, her tender sensibilities would not have been affected so strongly. Personal responsibility, she can has it. *rolls eyes*

You, on the other hand, were kind in your response to such rudeness.

Date: 2010-05-18 06:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
The repeated staring at the object of her repulsion really made me not feel sorry for her.
Thank you, but honestly I just couldn't think of anything Oscar Wilde-ish to say to her.

Date: 2010-05-18 06:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
She did not care for my enthusiasm one little bit!

Date: 2010-05-18 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sylphon.livejournal.com
heh, great answer to that.

Date: 2010-05-18 06:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
It is my only good comeback :)

Date: 2010-05-18 03:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fuzzilla.livejournal.com
Ha ha... Absolutely perfect.

Date: 2010-05-18 06:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
thanky!

Date: 2010-05-18 04:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vicariance.livejournal.com
I know that's a great ending and all, but I'm curious what she did with that. If she was really pissed off at your callousness, I could imagine her smashing the plate. In fact, It's hard to imagine a douche like her going and putting the shit back where she found it after having her feelings so terribly disrespected. People with self-importance as voluminous as this lady's are prone to tantrums.

Date: 2010-05-18 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Well during the escalation of her sensibilities being damaged she got progressively more bug eyed and when I yelled "yay" at her, her eyes got narrow and she gave me a sneer and left.
It was terribly anti-climatic because she had given me the distinct impression that she was full of crazy sauce, so I was geared up for some action. Honestly I was a bit disappointed. The plates however are firmly zip tied to the metal grid attached to the tent, so your scenario would have been awesome!

Date: 2010-05-18 04:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melaniesuzanne.livejournal.com
I wish there was art like that at the festivals I attend.

Date: 2010-05-18 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Tell me where you live darlin cause I need some new cities to spread the love!

Date: 2010-05-18 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesliepear.livejournal.com
Do you have a link to your art and the festivals you are going to? We love to go to festivals and admire the art.

Date: 2010-05-18 07:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
I do!
http://www.thirdhalfstudios.com/
Thank you for asking. :)

Date: 2010-05-18 05:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tubyred.livejournal.com
people are awesome.

Date: 2010-05-18 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
They really are, most of the folks who stopped by were friendly and charming drunkards. That one seemed to have larger issues.

Date: 2010-05-18 06:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jourdannex.livejournal.com
I want to know what she did after you yelled YAY because I only wish I had been there to see the entire exchange.

Date: 2010-05-18 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
It was terribly disappointing for me because I had my hackles up for some serious crazy to start spilling out of her, but instead she just narrowed her eyes at me, sneered and walked off.
I had decided mid-way into the conversation if she started some destruction I was going to pretend I knew Kung Fu.

Date: 2010-05-18 09:07 pm (UTC)
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Date: 2010-05-18 09:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
This is why I fucking love you.

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Date: 2010-05-18 09:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theinnocence.livejournal.com
i love you

so so so much

Date: 2010-05-19 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
right back atcha girlie

Date: 2010-05-18 10:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amicablebitch.livejournal.com
your stuff is great! i looked at your site, and have decided that you should put it on etsy as well (just to give yourself another storefront). i don't even buy stuff off etsy (i am unemployed right now) but i hear lots of people do.

Date: 2010-05-18 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amicablebitch.livejournal.com
okay ignore me. i didn't read down the whole page, i just clicked to see the products. i need to work on my patience.

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Date: 2010-05-18 10:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karma-aster.livejournal.com
You are funny and snarky as hell and I adore you for it.

Also, the plate is frakkin' hysterical.

Date: 2010-05-19 01:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Thank you! You are entirely made of win. :)

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Date: 2010-05-19 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nosrialleon.livejournal.com
In my head, for no particular reason, you said "YAY" in the voice of Zoidberg. And it works!

Date: 2010-05-19 01:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
If only I could turn that voice on at will, I would absolutely do it!

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Date: 2010-05-19 04:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wonderbink.livejournal.com
Ya know, when I see art I don't like at a festival, my usual response is to move on to another booth and maybe nod politely at the artist if I inadvertently make eye contact as I pass. The idea of complaining to the artist is so outside my experience I don't even know what to do with it.

I do have to say that was probably the best response you could have given her.

I've done three festivals so far with my own work and I haven't done that well with them. I get loads of compliments, but very little cash. I suspect I may be too shy to be an effective salesperson.

Date: 2010-05-19 12:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Being shy probably doesn't have anything to do with it.
With 6 of these things under my belt so far I have learned that whatever sells great at one, doesn't move at all in the next one. Do you have an etsy store?
I would like to see your stuff.

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Date: 2010-05-19 04:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nder.livejournal.com
1 1/2 thumbs up. I'm gnawing.

Date: 2010-05-20 12:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
Take it easy or you wont be hungry for dinner!

Date: 2010-05-19 05:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lim3light.livejournal.com
Yeah I don't get why someone would say anything at all if they don't like it. I've seen plenty of shit I didn't like but I don't go to the person and tell them they have created shit. >_<
Other then that I do like your shit (zombie animals are so cute!) and I liked your advice to cyanidefish .

Oh and you should try your stuff out here on the west coast. Seattle, Wa wouldn't be a bad place to start. Bunch a hippies want your shit ;D

Date: 2010-05-20 12:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
I am going to chalk this up to the woman believing she was spreading wisdom.

You advice is well timed! I was thinking about trying to get into the Archie McPhee store.

Date: 2010-05-19 11:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] missrachael.livejournal.com
I'm totally telling my librarians to start doing that every time a Teabagger comes in and tells them what they think of government workers.

Date: 2010-05-20 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeppo.livejournal.com
If I could be even a little tiny bit responsible for an angry letter claiming a librarian said "yay!" to them... well that is a life goal right there I didn't even know I had.

Date: 2010-05-21 09:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] betterbombshell.livejournal.com
First, the zombie animals are ADORABLE. Second, "Yay!" is an adorable and appropriate response.

I would also have accepted "Less talk! More barf!"

Date: 2010-05-23 09:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] voxsjournal.livejournal.com
You don't have Zombie Squirrel on a T-Shirt? That's just wrong....

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