![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Down, down, down I went into the darkness with personal masseur Arturo leading the way.
I knew that he was a personal masseur from his Popeye-like forearms and if that wasn't a clear enough sign his too tight Hanes Beefy-T explained it in bright red lettering right across his torso along with the menu of charges.
The steps emptied out into a dimly lit room with a low ceiling. There was leather covered table in the center surrounded by bench seats covered with faux cheetah fur. It was as if John Waters had become a surgeon and built his own operating arena.
"This is where I do massages!" He chirped brightly.
"Yeah I see that..."
"You want to see the exotic birds?"
I felt myself turning on this weird gameshow type enthusiasm,
"Do you even have to ask!?"
He led me through a mildly depressing tropically themed bar with slightly moldy thatching clinging to a precarious bamboo structure.
He motioned to the small stage, "that is where the Karaoke happens." He was yelling now as some indiscernible music blared loudly over speakers with the treble turned to 'painful.'
I know there were living human beings sitting at tables down there, but I could barely see them or feel their presence. I stopped listening to Arturo talk about the magic fountain and started wondering if the people down here in the dank sad Hawaiian basement were possibly zombies...
Tiki zombies...
East Side Tiki zombies...
the very best kind of zombies.
I finally noticed him staring at me with an expectant look on his face. "I'm sorry, what?"
"How do you like the birds?"
"Oh they are great!" I looked through the dirty glass to see a large Blue and Gold Macaw nibbling on his big toe. I grew up with a bird like this and I worried about him getting enough interaction with the staff upstairs or if they just left him in the cage all of the time. I wondered if the Macaw thought the queens were just larger parrots, brightly feathered with freedom to roam.
Arturo took my hand and led me back around to the boom boom massage room.
( Read more... )
I knew that he was a personal masseur from his Popeye-like forearms and if that wasn't a clear enough sign his too tight Hanes Beefy-T explained it in bright red lettering right across his torso along with the menu of charges.
The steps emptied out into a dimly lit room with a low ceiling. There was leather covered table in the center surrounded by bench seats covered with faux cheetah fur. It was as if John Waters had become a surgeon and built his own operating arena.
"This is where I do massages!" He chirped brightly.
"Yeah I see that..."
"You want to see the exotic birds?"
I felt myself turning on this weird gameshow type enthusiasm,
"Do you even have to ask!?"
He led me through a mildly depressing tropically themed bar with slightly moldy thatching clinging to a precarious bamboo structure.
He motioned to the small stage, "that is where the Karaoke happens." He was yelling now as some indiscernible music blared loudly over speakers with the treble turned to 'painful.'
I know there were living human beings sitting at tables down there, but I could barely see them or feel their presence. I stopped listening to Arturo talk about the magic fountain and started wondering if the people down here in the dank sad Hawaiian basement were possibly zombies...
Tiki zombies...
East Side Tiki zombies...
the very best kind of zombies.
I finally noticed him staring at me with an expectant look on his face. "I'm sorry, what?"
"How do you like the birds?"
"Oh they are great!" I looked through the dirty glass to see a large Blue and Gold Macaw nibbling on his big toe. I grew up with a bird like this and I worried about him getting enough interaction with the staff upstairs or if they just left him in the cage all of the time. I wondered if the Macaw thought the queens were just larger parrots, brightly feathered with freedom to roam.
Arturo took my hand and led me back around to the boom boom massage room.
( Read more... )
