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Doing the robot
Apr. 5th, 2006 10:47 amI just had something happen to me that has never happened before.
The phone rang and when I picked it up a young adult male voice said, "May I speak to the lady of the house?"
I said what I always say, "Sorry she aint here."
There was a quiet moment and then the voice spoke up again, "Oh that is okay, I would like to talk to you if you don't mind and I won't even take up ninety seconds of your time. This isn't a solicitation, I just want to ask you a couple of simple questions and then I will let you go – okay?"
Before I could answer he starts talking again, "Don't you feel that today's entertainment is far too adult oriented and that content labeled safe for children is getting far too edgy? How many children do you have?"
I am confused now because there is something amiss and I can't quite put my finger on it. I sputter out, "No I don't exactly think that and I don't have any..."
He laughs a little and cuts me off, "You don't have to have any children to know how inappropriate movies and television have gotten these days. Everyone knows that any films labeled family oriented rarely get made. Look this isn't about censorship, I TRULY believe in the first amendment. All I am saying is let's send a message to Hollywood that more family based entertainment should be made and..."
Then I realized what was going on, this was an extremely advanced voice response system. It was really impressive there was no noise to indictae this was recording. The responses were eerily natural. I mean I have spoken to the high-end ones before when I called my brokerage but I have never had one call me. I wondered how many people were fooled by this recorded voice and the idea of a nonsentient being trying to rally up an emotional response was beautifully absurd.
It was artistic in its way.
Of course then my fleeting moment of intellect passed and my adolescent took over and I decided to test it. Every time a question was asked and a brief silence ensued I spoke as clearly as possible about the kind of entertainment I would like "HOLLYWOOD" to produce.
"I believe that midget pornography is far too prevalent and think that sexual acts featuring those with gigantism should be equally represented."
"I think films where octogenarians expose their genitalia to large crowds of people wearing rainbow wigs is something this country really needs."
"I would like to see more films about alien on monkey sex created with the artistic merit it deserves."
At the end the machine then thanked me effusively for my time and asked my name for its records.
"Ophelia Butts."
The phone rang and when I picked it up a young adult male voice said, "May I speak to the lady of the house?"
I said what I always say, "Sorry she aint here."
There was a quiet moment and then the voice spoke up again, "Oh that is okay, I would like to talk to you if you don't mind and I won't even take up ninety seconds of your time. This isn't a solicitation, I just want to ask you a couple of simple questions and then I will let you go – okay?"
Before I could answer he starts talking again, "Don't you feel that today's entertainment is far too adult oriented and that content labeled safe for children is getting far too edgy? How many children do you have?"
I am confused now because there is something amiss and I can't quite put my finger on it. I sputter out, "No I don't exactly think that and I don't have any..."
He laughs a little and cuts me off, "You don't have to have any children to know how inappropriate movies and television have gotten these days. Everyone knows that any films labeled family oriented rarely get made. Look this isn't about censorship, I TRULY believe in the first amendment. All I am saying is let's send a message to Hollywood that more family based entertainment should be made and..."
Then I realized what was going on, this was an extremely advanced voice response system. It was really impressive there was no noise to indictae this was recording. The responses were eerily natural. I mean I have spoken to the high-end ones before when I called my brokerage but I have never had one call me. I wondered how many people were fooled by this recorded voice and the idea of a nonsentient being trying to rally up an emotional response was beautifully absurd.
It was artistic in its way.
Of course then my fleeting moment of intellect passed and my adolescent took over and I decided to test it. Every time a question was asked and a brief silence ensued I spoke as clearly as possible about the kind of entertainment I would like "HOLLYWOOD" to produce.
"I believe that midget pornography is far too prevalent and think that sexual acts featuring those with gigantism should be equally represented."
"I think films where octogenarians expose their genitalia to large crowds of people wearing rainbow wigs is something this country really needs."
"I would like to see more films about alien on monkey sex created with the artistic merit it deserves."
At the end the machine then thanked me effusively for my time and asked my name for its records.
"Ophelia Butts."
