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DIY - Rage control
Jun. 7th, 2007 04:00 pmTools needed:
A large piece of uncooked meat, you may also use a large flat vegetable, but is should be very juicy (firm tofu also works well)
A George Forman grill or two pans, one slightly smaller than the other.
Assorted spices, sauces - pick your favorites
Directions:
Heat up grill or larger pan with some oil until it is very very hot.
Throw meat or vegetable onto the grill or pan.
Close the lid to the grill or put smaller pan on top of meat/vegetable
Lean on grill lid or use force to weigh down top pan.
Over the loud sizzling noise scream the following at the top of your voice:
"Oh my God I cannot take the horrible horrible burning!!! Please [insert your name here] please make it stop!!! I am so sorry for the transgressions I committed against you! I should have known better, the pain is terrible; I may die from the shock!!!
The pain - the excruciating pain!!!!"
Check your enemy's hand for doneness.
Remove from heat.
Season to taste.
Enjoy.
*On an unrelated note, everybody go vote for my Jones Soda label entry if you dig. Those are my grandfolks during a retirement "roast" circa 1968.
**I will post an update about Kathy from the previous post - she is doing okay and is no longer compelled to stand on roadsides with signs. Thanks to everybody for your excellent advice.
A large piece of uncooked meat, you may also use a large flat vegetable, but is should be very juicy (firm tofu also works well)
A George Forman grill or two pans, one slightly smaller than the other.
Assorted spices, sauces - pick your favorites
Directions:
Heat up grill or larger pan with some oil until it is very very hot.
Throw meat or vegetable onto the grill or pan.
Close the lid to the grill or put smaller pan on top of meat/vegetable
Lean on grill lid or use force to weigh down top pan.
Over the loud sizzling noise scream the following at the top of your voice:
"Oh my God I cannot take the horrible horrible burning!!! Please [insert your name here] please make it stop!!! I am so sorry for the transgressions I committed against you! I should have known better, the pain is terrible; I may die from the shock!!!
The pain - the excruciating pain!!!!"
Check your enemy's hand for doneness.
Remove from heat.
Season to taste.
Enjoy.
*On an unrelated note, everybody go vote for my Jones Soda label entry if you dig. Those are my grandfolks during a retirement "roast" circa 1968.
**I will post an update about Kathy from the previous post - she is doing okay and is no longer compelled to stand on roadsides with signs. Thanks to everybody for your excellent advice.
