Zeppo coping mechanisms issue #1

Step 1: Stumble across unused "bubble spa massaging bubble mat" in my parent's spare bathroom cabinet
Step 2: Pour half a bottle of Mr. Bubble into bathtub that is a little too hot
Step 3: Get into bath, pull shower doors closed
Step 4: Turn off machine when the bubbles hit the ceiling
Step 5: Pretend you are lost in fog
Step 6: Dig a tunnel until you reach the faucet and say it is Shangri-La
Step 7: Build a castle with gravity defying spires
Step 8: Give yourself foamy fins and knock castle down Godzilla style
Step 9: Touch yourself
Step 10: Decide that is boring
Step 11: Cover yourself entirely with suds and say you are a malevolent Michelin Man
Step 12: Blow dying bubbles into the air and sing "Baby it's Cold Outside"
Step 13: Get out, dry off, put on robe three sizes too big.
Step 14: Knock back two very strong martinis and chase it with chocolates meant for Christmas
Step 15: Replace the very big looming worry with the mild concern you will get a urinary tract infection from putting too much Mr. Bubble in the bathtub.

The world has been cruel to me as of late. I don't think I want to talk about quite now as I can't see the whole arc of the situation yet to see what sort of lesson the universe is teaching me. In the meantime look for more exciting coping methods in the weeks to come!
Maybe I should make trading cards.

*A special message or those cats and kittens in the Portland OR and Vancouver WA area - I am currently on your doorstep. Any recommendations on places to go and things to see would help me considerably.