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tired and crazy
Jan. 6th, 2005 04:47 pmLetter written by me
Dear person in charge of my collective fate,
What the hell are you doing to me?
I mean no disrespect, but how is it you allowed my entire life to fly apart like a plastic army man taped to fire crackers? Your self-lauded foresight isn't really worth a damn.
I can't believe you allowed this happen, after everything I have already been through; unless you are intentionally trying to cause me to suffer to make some intellectually superior point. What is next? Joblessness? Dismemberment? Arson? Locusts?
Alright I admit that locusts might be sort of cool but seriously how are you going to fix this? You are so damn quick to try and repair everybody else's problems, so go ahead and fix this smartass.
I blame you, I really do and if you can't figure out a way to make things right again I don't think I am going to talk to you anymore.
Fucker!
with piss and vinegar,
Zeppo
My response
Thank you for your inquiry Citizen Zeppo,
We here at collective fates understand your frustration with the situation.
Truthfully we can only forecast situations in which you yourself are responsible for and clearly this does not apply. Let me assure you - our main goal is to serve only you and honestly we are called upon so infrequently that in this time of great tragedy our office was overwhelmed with requests. We are sorting them out in manner of priority.
Perhaps for the time being you can utilize your stored resources and do some repair work yourself until we can accommodate requests that fall near the end of the list. We have no current plans in process to throw anymore difficulties your way unless of course you act in a manner not in accordance with our and (may I remind you) your master plans. Please know that our sympathies are with you during this time of upheaval. We here at collective fates do not have to remind you that we allowed you trespass through situations equally as problematic in the past. Again we ask for your patience and suggest you stay out of the liquor cabinet and away from the Little Debbie Swiss cake rolls.
Respectfully yours,
The Zeppo Corporation
Dear person in charge of my collective fate,
What the hell are you doing to me?
I mean no disrespect, but how is it you allowed my entire life to fly apart like a plastic army man taped to fire crackers? Your self-lauded foresight isn't really worth a damn.
I can't believe you allowed this happen, after everything I have already been through; unless you are intentionally trying to cause me to suffer to make some intellectually superior point. What is next? Joblessness? Dismemberment? Arson? Locusts?
Alright I admit that locusts might be sort of cool but seriously how are you going to fix this? You are so damn quick to try and repair everybody else's problems, so go ahead and fix this smartass.
I blame you, I really do and if you can't figure out a way to make things right again I don't think I am going to talk to you anymore.
Fucker!
with piss and vinegar,
Zeppo
My response
Thank you for your inquiry Citizen Zeppo,
We here at collective fates understand your frustration with the situation.
Truthfully we can only forecast situations in which you yourself are responsible for and clearly this does not apply. Let me assure you - our main goal is to serve only you and honestly we are called upon so infrequently that in this time of great tragedy our office was overwhelmed with requests. We are sorting them out in manner of priority.
Perhaps for the time being you can utilize your stored resources and do some repair work yourself until we can accommodate requests that fall near the end of the list. We have no current plans in process to throw anymore difficulties your way unless of course you act in a manner not in accordance with our and (may I remind you) your master plans. Please know that our sympathies are with you during this time of upheaval. We here at collective fates do not have to remind you that we allowed you trespass through situations equally as problematic in the past. Again we ask for your patience and suggest you stay out of the liquor cabinet and away from the Little Debbie Swiss cake rolls.
Respectfully yours,
The Zeppo Corporation
