The Commodore has left the building

[zeppomarks]

Before he whisked off to Vancouver however a few more precious gems fell from his lips.

"Those people were pretty nice considering they were Christian and all"


This was uttered to the people at the train depot museum, whom he had just met 15 minutes prior,
Commodore: “Let me see if I can buy you folks a railroad car to go on those empty tracks over there."
Person running the museum: "uh well, that would be very generous of you."
Commodore: "You would let me come and sit in it... right?"


Pronounced very loudly at a 4 star restaurant,
"This place is MUCH better than Taco Bell!"


Spoken to a French Waiter, "Can you bring my daughter here a Beefeater gin martini straight up with a lemon twist? We need to keep her on her toes. Also bring us some Molluscan Gastropoda and two spoons!"


Yelled into the phone, "What they don't understand is that I am a man with needs!"


"Your friends seemed relatively intelligent, but I am really amazed by their children."
me: "How so?"
"They owned such well mannered infants, there was no snot-nosed screaming and wailing like the horrid little street urchins that most children are..."


I don’t want to be called a diabetic, I prefer ‘Sugar Cripple.’


"You know the second I kissed her hand I could tell she used to be a man"

Comments

[pigri.livejournal.com]

i am pleased the Commodore found my child acceptable.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

"Relatively intelligent" is second highest compliment.
Also kissing the hand comment came well before the breakfast so none of you were involved.

[jason0x21.livejournal.com]

The Commodore has left the building

*salutes*

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

He would salute you back and then do the Catholic cross saying, 'spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch."

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

hahhaaa, that came BEFORE the breakfast anyway he thought you were hotter than July.

[st-sardonicist.livejournal.com]

Can we trade parents?

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

The grass is always greener I am afraid. Oh he is eccentric and charming at parties but when he calls at 7:00 in the morning and wants to know if you are up so we can discuss how he feels this current administration has breached the Sherman Antitrust act of 1890, well it starts to wear a little thin.

[st-sardonicist.livejournal.com]

Whatever! I get 7am calls about NOTHING. And nothing's not nearly as entertaining as Seinfeld makes it out to be, either.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

late breaking news!
He just now called me to say that he discovered "The Onion" and he thinks these people may be making this stuff up...

[jspurlin.livejournal.com]

awesome.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

:) I report the facts faithfully.

[herroyalflyness.livejournal.com]

I am equally amazed by our friends' children.

Although the man with needs part is what made me laugh and laugh.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

Good God, if you only knew what came before that you would be wincing like I was, but once I had some distance on it - it was hilarious.

[jourdannex.livejournal.com]

It appears we are related LOL

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

Darling I have suspected that for some time, although at least my lot drinks heavily :)

[ayun.livejournal.com]

How old is the Commodore? 'Cause he sounds like my grandfather, but my grandfather is 95. My grandfather is also An Awesome Man.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

Pop turns 80 in April.

[ayun.livejournal.com]

His familiarity with the trappings of contemporary culture is impressive for a guy that age. I doubt my grandfather is aware of Taco Bell, or the fact that you can make people laugh using the word "cripple." (He just uses it reflexively, when talking about his car placard or whatever, and we titter.)

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

My father is on the internet no less than 10 hours a day hence his vague familiarity with the present day.
Your grandfather sounds fabulous!

[gruggach.livejournal.com]

What a righteous dude.
What's he doing in Vancouver? Seems a strange place for a Commodore(with the exception of the Commodore night club)

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

He lives there with my brother, the neighbors find him strange but charming.

[jah-lila.livejournal.com]

I needed that bit of humor and weirdness today.
Thank you.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

:) anytime

[dustyskinandall.livejournal.com]

I'm calling my dad a Sugar Cripple from now on.

Beautiful.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

I am calling MYSELF a sugar cripple from now on, hell I might make t-shirts!

[lolliejean.livejournal.com]

I love The Commodore. I'd like to have a book full of his quotes.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

I swear to you he could fill a book in a single weekend that man.

[saltdawg.livejournal.com]

I am totally behind the new term for diabetes. Whenever someone hears that I'm diabetic they become awful intrusive and at times inappropriate. "Sugar Cripple" will allow me to fly under the radar, as most of my shipmates don't have the capacity for sarcasm.

A St. Lawrence Salute to the Commodore!

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

You and me both brother - I may print out some damn t-shirts!

[jemisoutrageous.livejournal.com]

Yelled into the phone, "What they don't understand is that I am a man with needs!"

Damn straight!

I could hear his needs in Brooklyn!

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

The man is not shy about his needs.

[ravengirl.livejournal.com]

LOL Oh. I so needed that. Danke.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

You are welcome darlin.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

I am thinking of having t-shirts made!

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

I've been meaning to say this for a while yet:
You come from magical stock.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

hahhaa - thank you, I would have to agree.

[jimmyether.livejournal.com]

"You know the second I kissed her hand I could tell she used to be a man"

God love that man. He's like a Mark Twain, Confucius and Rodney Dangerfield Smoothie.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

"He's like a Mark Twain, Confucius and Rodney Dangerfield Smoothie"

I am sending this to him as we speak - he will love this.

[jimmyether.livejournal.com]

HAHA! Awesome.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

I just received the following response in its entirety:

"One would be pretty picky if he were not flattered by those comments.

Thanks,
JFM"

[jimmyether.livejournal.com]

QLROFLMAO (quite literally rolling on the floor yada yada yada).

I can't tell if he's actually flattered or not! A true master of words.

*snort*

[nexussix.livejournal.com]

I didn't think the train car comment could be topped, but then I got the taco bell line.

Priceless.

Thanks for sharing.

He's a veritable fountain of witicism.

Re: *snort*

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

The man is bizarre beyond words, fortunately it is usually entertaining.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

I would and have gladly added you.
I am happy to have the chance to thank you again for everything you did for me. Oddly my entire body is sore as if I had done something very physical.

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

You survived another visit with great aplomb, gorgeous.

[zeppo.livejournal.com]

:) thank you, I did and hopefully will have a reprieve for at least a month or two.